Archived Story

Goober has real story for Halloween

Published 1:37am Thursday, October 24, 2013

Welp, Halloween is a comin’ in just a few weeks and I gots a true story that sounds like a ghost story.

This happened in Dublin, Ireland, to a college student named John Bradford. Seems he wuz on the side of the road hitchhikin’ on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night wuz rollin’ on and there weren’t any cars on the road. The storm got so strong that Bradford could hardly see a few feet in front of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly comin’ towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about the situation, got into the car and closed the door only to realize no one wuz behind the wheel and the engine wasn’t on!

The car started movin’ again very slowly and John looked at the road ahead and saw a bend approachin’. Scared, he started to pray, beggin’ fer his life. Then, just before the car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window and turned the wheel.

Bradford was paralyzed with fear. He watched the hand come through the window but it never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter, Bradford saw the lights of a pub appear down the road and he gathered the courage to jump out of the car and he ran to the pub.

Wet and out of breath, Bradford rushed inside and started tellin’ everyone about the horrible and frightenin’ experience he just had.

A silence came over the pub when everyone realized he was cryin’ and he wasn’t drunk. But suddenly, the door opened and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They were also soaked and out of breath.

Lookin’ around and seeing Bradford cryin’ at the bar, one of the men turned to the other and said, “Look, Paddy, there’s that crazy idiot that got in the car while we were pushin’ it.”

Someone call me a taxi.

Ennywho, last week I wuz 14-5 to bring the season record to 117-37 and a .760 percentage. It’s on to week nine.

Oak Hill at Ironton: In the world of sports, they say when ya got a good horse, ride it. Ironton ain’t got no Palomino, but they do have a Palladino. Giddy up. Ironton 28, Oak Hill 20.

Chesapeake at Coal Grove: This will be the Battle for the Little Brown Jug. I wonder what they is gonna fill up the jug with this year? Look fer the Hornets to like the taste of victory. Coal Grove 42, Chesapeake 22.

Rock Hill at Fairland: All signs point toward the Dragons, but the Redmen have been makin’ things tough on everyone in the league. It’ll be tough, but it should be…Fairland 43, Rock Hill 36.

River Valley at South Point: This one will be QB vs. QB. Personally, I likes QB better. South Point 38, River Valley 14.

Ports. Notre Dame at Symmes Valley: The Vikings have their backs against the wall. All that means is they has more leverage to push back. Symmes Valley 20, Notre Dame 19.

Green at Sciotoville East: This was a crazy one earlier this season when these teams met in a non-league game. The tables turn. East 32, Green 28.

OTHERS: Lucasville Valley over Wheelersburg; Minford over Waverly; Portsmouth West over Northwest; Johnson Central over Ashland; Raceland over Paintsville; Russell over East Carter; Portsmouth over Vincent Warren; Bishop Hartley over Cin. Withrow; St. Charles over Bishop Watterson; Logan over Gallipolis; Jackson over Greenfield McClain; Athens over Meigs.

Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.

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