Goober#039;s brother gets in auto battle with Rolls driver
Published 12:00 am Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Ya should've heard what happened to muh brother Billy Bob the other day.
Billy Bob, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"
The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too… see?" Billy Bob says.
"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
"You got a fax machine?" asks Billy Bob.
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do too! See? It's right here!" brags Billy Bob.
The light is just about to turn green and Billy Bob says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
The guy in the Rolls replies, "No! Do you?"
"Yep, got my double bed right in back here," Billy Bob replies.
The light turns and Billy Bob takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done.
He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with "Redneck" on the plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.
Billy Bob finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies Billy Bob, "What's up?"
"Check this out… I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
Billy Bob exclaimed, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"
Ennywhooo, last week I wuz a blisterin' 14-1 (muh Rock Hill upset didn't happen) which makes the season record 51-10 (.836 percentage). We is already at the halfway mark and strivin' fer perfecshun.
Ashland at Ironton: Since the Bob Lutz era, Ironton is 24-4 and winners of 13 straight. Do I hear 14? Ironton 28, Ashland 20.
Coal Grove at Vinton County: I would think this one is the upset special, but the Hornets is on the road and that really scares me. Vinton County 18, Coal Grove 14.
Rock Hill at Wellston: The Golden Rockets git a little tarnished. Rock Hill 22, Wellston 20.
Vincent Warren at Chesapeake: When VW comes to town, look fer the Panthers to bug out like exterminators. Chesapeake 26, Warren 19.
Northwest at South Point: Kin you say victory? One of them gits to after this game. Speak up …. South Point 32, Northwest 26.
Fairland at Meigs: Pomeroy has been under water. Soggy field isn't good fer pass cuts. Meigs 27, Fairland 24.
Oak Hill at Symmes Valley: It's the pass vs. the run. Pass is a four-letter word, so I takes the run. Symmes Valley 22, Oak Hill 16.
Green at Lucasville Valley: This could become a Castro-phy. Lucasville 28, Green 20.
Minford at Wheelersburg: As John McClane said in Die Hard II, "Yippee kiay, Mr. Falcon." Wheelersburg 32, Minford 12.
Others: Portsmouth over Washington Court House, Ports. West over Waverly, Ports. East over Ports. Notre Dame, Chillicothe over Gallipolis, Beechwood Park over Russell.