I wuz readin' a bed time story to muh kids the other day from a book I bought last week and it has muh favorite fairy tale, Snow White.

But this book wuz a little different. In one chapter, the Seven Dwarfs are trapped down in a mine shaft and there's a cave in. Snow White rushes to the entrance and yells, "Can anyone hear me?"

A voice yells back, "The Bengals are good enough to win the Super Bowl."

Snow White breathes a sigh of relief. "Well, at least Dopey's still alive."

Problem of the Week:

Question: You're trapped in a cave with a mean grizzly bear, an angry rattlesnake and a Michigan fan. All you have is a gun and two bullets. What do you do?

Answer: You shoot the Michigan fan. Twice.

Ennywhoo, last week I wuz 11-2 to bring the season mark to 62-12 which is an .838 percentage. I is on a record pace, so I don't wants derailed this week. Here goes week No. six:

Ironton at Lawrence County: It doesn't matter whether it's Ohio or Kentucky, Ironton football rules Lawrence County. Ironton 21, Lawrence County 12.

River Valley at Coal Grove: No one is real sure how good this River Valley is, but I is sure of how good the Hornets are. Coal Grove 26, River Valley 14.

Fairland at Chesapeake: They always says, "When purple meets green, they clash." Why not say,"When Panthers meet Dragons, they scratch and burn." Chesapeake 28, Fairland 26.

Rock Hill at South Point: Since these teams are so young, they is callin' this the "Gerber Bowl." Rock Hill 27, South Point 22.

Symmes Valley at Green: When Vikings meet Bobcats, they, uh, well. The kitty gets to ride in a boat. I don't know. Symmes Valley 32, Green 18.

Portsmouth at Wheelersburg: This here is the toughest call. It is 'bout as even as I kin see. Heads it's the Trojans, tails it's the Pirates. … It's tails. Wheelersburg 21, Portsmouth 20.

Other: Portsmouth West over Northwest, Ports. Notre Dame over Oak Hill, Lucasville over Ports. East, Waverly over Minford, Gallipolis over Athens, Ashland over Greenup County, Bobby Lutz Catering Service over Russell.