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Gridiron Goober’s retirement brought dark cloud on season

It was bound to happen. With a working agreement that lasted more than 40 years, there was a little riff that exploded into a bigger argument. And because of that disagreement, Gridiron Goober decided to retire as the Ironton Tribune high school football prognosticator.

But Gridiron Goober couldn’t stand being idle after his reign as the best prep picker in the country. He found a new job, but because his contract with The Ironton Tribune was still valid, he had to get permission.

The Tribune lawyers looked at the contract offer and gave ol’ Goob the OK. It seems the job wouldn’t be a threat to the newspaper, or anyone else for that matter. The viewing audience was less than a Friday night on PBS. The job was making predictions on MSNBC.

Everything was going well for ol’ Goob until he made one key mistake last month. He predicted that Keith Olbermann would go on vacation for two weeks and no one would notice.

It wasn’t the prediction that bothered MSNBC, it was the fact he was right. In fact, Olbermann had his largest audience during those two weeks and half of the viewers said they missed seeing their son.

Out of work again, Gridiron Goober announced his retirement again. But it didn’t last. And since his contract with The Tribune was now void, he was a free agent. He signed to do prep predictions with Tribune rival paper The Ironton Register.

Uh, one more problem. The Ironton Register had been out of business for more than 60 years. This time ol’ Goob decided to bury the hatchet and return to The Tribune.

Contract talks brought a new agreement and Gridiron Goober returned to The Tribune. He even gets to wear a new staff shirt with the number “4” on it.

I’m glad he came back. The whole retiring and un-retiring thing was started to bore me to death.

Bring on the predictions.

–– Sinatra ––

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.