Speaking like the leader of the pack

Published 12:00 am Sunday, October 10, 2010

The human animal bond is very strong. They comfort us, protect us and live for us. We in return, have dog metaphors throughout our language.

The alpha male is the leader of the pack, but if I can’t teach him to heel, he will spend considerable time in the dog house especially if he is not house trained.

If he doesn’t step in it, he might get to stay in the pup tent otherwise it might be to the dog pound.

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But work like a dog, because everyone knows you can’t teach a dog new tricks and if you don’t have a job you may become a booze hound.

I have a bone to pick which can lead to a bone of contention, but don’t bite the hand that feeds you. But if you do throw the dog a bone, you might find that it is a dog eat dog world because people act like a dog with a bone and sometimes they just fight like cats and dogs. Or are they just nipping at your heels, because they don’t have a dog in this fight?

A dog’s bark is worse than his bite, but he is not a lap dog and if you don’t put a muzzle on it, it could lead to a real dogfight. So keep them on a short leash or better yet, call off the dogs. And anyway, who, who let the dogs out?

He missed the dog leg in the trail, so he is barking up the wrong tree, but he still has to jump through hoops, because he is not lucky as a dog.

In a bird dog minute you can be a dog’s age old and sick as a dog then you die like a dog because it is a dog’s life. Maybe you can just play dead. Regardless it is not over until the last dog dies.

Every dog has his day and every day has dog especially in the dog days of August. But if you do die make sure you have your dogtags.

Remember to take a doggie bag for the dog’s breakfast or the dog’s dinner or are you just eating your own dog food when you really prefer to eat a hot dog.

If you had a hangdog or dogface expression, you would not say “hotdoggity dog.”

If you were pretty as a speckled pup you might wear a poodle skirt and get Orion’s dog star named after you.

This really just sounds like a dog and pony show, so put on the dog. But don’t send the dog catcher after the dog wagon.

Kids use the excuse that the dog ate their homework, so they have time for puppy love.

Adult versions have to do with female dogs, body parts, styles and probably more that I really don’t want to know about.

My personal new favorite comes because I do not have a leash and cannot be kept on a leash, so “don’t whiz on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

Don’t think I am hot dogging it, because much of the information for this article came from www.metaphordogs.org.

Dr. WIXSOM owns and practices at Guardian Animal Medical Center in Flatwoods, Ky. More info at www.Guardian Animal.com or 606 928-6566.