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Sports Christmas carols will help brighten holiday season

It’s that time of year again. The time when everyone is rushing around buying gifts, baking special treats, watching TV specials and, of course, waiting for that special event.

Well, it’s here. The annual sports Christmas carols. What? You thought I was talking about Santa. Heck, he doesn’t even do his own work any more. The elves make the toys and he’s got guys working the malls taking information. On top of that, the GPS guides the sleigh and the only reason he goes down the chimney is for all the free food.

He’s become a real CEO.

Anyway, here are a list of some Christmas carols that will certainly brighten up the holidays. Well, at least they’ll eat up some time while you’re waiting on Santa.

We’re Beginning To Look A Lot Like The Bungals

(Tune: It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas)

We’re beginning to look a lot like the Bungals

With ev’ry game we play.

Our QB just got picked. None of our kickers can make a kick.

And our old receivers are way overpaid.

We’re beginning to look a lot like the Bungals

A loss comes ev’ry week.

Our effort blasted by T.O., there’s always pouting Ocho.

The future sure looks bleak.

A new contract and a chance to come back

Is the wish of Marvin’s bank.

If they go to jail a fund to post bail

Is the hope of Pacman and Tank.

And Benson was real upset when he heard his boat had just sank.

We’re beginning to look a lot like the Bungals

This season was a flop.

And the sound that you will hear, is a loud and joyful cheer

That the pain has stopped.

Silver and Gold

(The Cecil Newton theme song)

Silver and gold, silver and gold

Were the price for Cam Newton to be sold?

How do you measure it’s worth?

How bout a BCS title berth?

Silver and gold, silver and gold

Or a check for 200 Gs

Silver and gold silent auction

To help dad’s “ministry.”

It Came Upon A Thursday Night

(Tune: It Came Upon Midnight Clear)

It came upon a Thursday night

That show on E-S-P-N.

Where all would hear straight from LeBron

His choice where he’d try to win.

Peace was gone when he dissed the Cavs

The fans all turned on the King.

They burned his shirts and tore his signs

He never brought them a ring.

It came upon that Thursday night

LeBron joined Wade and Bosh

What became the Heat’s major gain

Was now the Cavs’ big loss.

His talents now were in South Beach

And Gilbert was flippin’

The former stars were not impressed

“You’re just another Pippen.”

Brett Favre Saga

(Tune: Deck The Halls)

Played a season with the Jets.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Spent time sending Sterger a text.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Thought it might get me some sex.

Fa la la la la la la la la la.

Looks like I could have an ex.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

First I quit then signed to play.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Vikes gave me a big pay day.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Got hurt so the streak did end.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Forget the records it’s all bout Jen.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

We Six Buckeyes

(Tune: We Three Kings)

We six Buckeyes needed tattoos

Now our gifts are all front page news

Signed some things and sold my rings

Even my bowl game shoes. (Chrous)

CHORUS

Oh, stars on offense, stars on “D”

Got a five-game penalty.

But there’s no change to the bowl game

It’s that old hypocrisy.

Posey, Herron, Adams and Pryor

All made sales down at tattoo parlor.

How can they laugh? Declare for the draft.

Then you’ll have all kinds of buyers. (Chorus)

Merry Christmas!

——— Sinatra ———

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.