Sees, there wuz this rich man who lived in Ironton and he was on his death bed. He requested to be left alone with his minister, lawyer and doctor.
“I know I’m gonna die and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you to each make sure the money gets in the coffin,” said the dying rich man.
It was a few days after the funeral that the minister was filled with guilt and confided to the other two that he only put $100,000 back in the coffin.
The doctor broke down and admitted, “I’m sorry, too. I’ve been feelin’ guilty because I only put $80,000 back in the coffin.”
The lawyer looked at the two men and shook his head.
“You two should be ashamed of yourselves. That’s the same as stealing. Am I the only honest person here,” said the lawyer.
“Here, look at this,” said the lawyer, pulling out his checkbook. “See, I wrote out a check for the entire $150,000 and put it in his coffin.”
Hmmm. Maybe we should exhume that coffin.
Ennywhooo, I wuz 14-2 last week to bring the season record to 38-9. I really don’t wants to hit double digits in losses this week but I don’t expect no perfection.
Ashland at Ironton: The Tomcats is ranked No. 1 in 4A over in Kentucky, but they ain’t No. 1 in Ironton’s heart. I smells an upset special. Ironton 28, Ashland 24.
South Point at Coal Grove: Hornets let one get away last week. Not this time. Coal Grove 42, South Point 7.
Rock Hill at Portsmouth: The challenge for the Redmen is stoppin’ Talyn Parker. The challenge for the Trojans is stoppin’ the whole backfield. Rock Hill 35, Portsmouth 26.
Gallipolis at Chesapeake: Panthers are gittin’ healthy and they has a few games under their belts. If Austin Browning stays healthy, ya never know. Gallipolis 21, Chesapeake 14.
Fairland at Waverly: Last week it was Ironton. This week Waverly followed by Rock Hill and Gallipolis. I ain’t tradin’ places with coach Cunningham fer nothin’. Waverly 34, Fairland 24.
Oak Hill at Symmes Valley: The Oaks move up to SOC Div. II next year. The Vikings and the SOC I teams ain’t gonna miss ‘em. Oak Hill 42, Symmes Valley 7.
Sciotoville East at Green: Bobcats has been rollin’ along against some bad teams. East is better but not better enough. Green 28, East 7.
OTHERS: Beaver Eastern over Ports. Notre Dame; Minford over Northwest; Portsmouth West over Wellston; Raceland over Lucasville Valley; Bishop Watterson over Wheelersburg.
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Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.