Vivianne Vallance: Stop the negative self-talk

Published 12:00 am Saturday, April 6, 2019

There are times in our lives that we get a little too busy, a little too distracted and we may start to feel weak and unsure of ourselves.

We all do it. We’re human. Every day, we are bombarded with different types of toxins and negative energy. I’m not just talking about physical toxins like food and sugary drinks. I’m also talking about negative self-talk and unproductive chatter that can pollute our minds and our way of thinking about ourselves.

“I’m not that strong.”

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“I can’t do that!”

When I’m training my clients I often hear how they speak to themselves. I’ll grab a dumbbell a little heavier than they are used to and automatically, they say it’s impossible. Or we’ll go out to run a mile and they’ll want to give up before we even start. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t-you’re right.” Believe and you will achieve.

It’s a rule at my studio that when a client says one thing negative about themselves, she must then speak three things positive. It’s gratifying to watch because at first, they struggle to find their own strengths. After a few weeks of negating their own negative opinions of themselves, they get tired of it. Then after a month, the negative talk doesn’t even happen. “I’m not that strong,” is replaced with, “I’m stronger than this.” “I can’t do that,” turns into, “that’s too easy.”

It’s a beautiful progression to see this kind of growth in self-love. Once we stop our own negative self-talk, we begin to notice how we allow others to speak to us. Allow. That is the key here. Don’t allow your own or other’s toxic opinions get in your way of growth.

Negativity starts in ourselves. When we lose faith in ourselves and begin to focus on our weaknesses, we also open up our minds to everyone else’s bad opinions. Learn to speak and think well of yourself. Then you will naturally attract more positive thinking from the people around you. If you are currently only surrounded by those who speak down to each other, be the one who exudes light instead. You will be amazed what kind of impact your own positivity can make.


Viviane Vallance is a personal trainer, health coach and yoga instructor working in Lawrence County.