Dear Nora: My roommate’s boyfriend recently broke up with her. Though it’s been a couple of weeks, she is still crying every day. Other friends and I try to help her, but nothing seems to be working. How can I help a friend when she doesn’t want help herself?

How do I not let other people’s sadness affect me? — Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated Friend: Your roommate is in trouble. Breakups are very difficult. It’s a period of time when you have to deal with the rejection and re-envision your life without the partner you had committed to your heart. The loss of a significant relationship also triggers memories and intense emotions related to other losses in the past. It is not unusual to grieve the loss of a relationship for months, but, at the same time, she needs to look forward in her life with hope and purpose.

If she is still crying after two weeks, she may need more help than her girlfriends can provide. Most colleges have a professional counseling department that provides what seems to be a much-needed service here.

Sometimes, there is a stigma to asking for professional help, but I have found that most, if not all, people can benefit from this type of release and guidance.

It may be time for two or three of her closest friends to have an honest discussion with her. If she is reluctant to seek counseling, offer to go to the first session with her. It’s important that you not carry this burden alone. Dealing with her pain day after day within your living environment can cause intense stress, draining you of energy and hope. If she refuses counseling, consider seeing a professional on your own. You need support as much as she does.

Dear Nora: I have noticed that as a society, we are becoming more and more addicted to our phones.

I make an effort to stay off my phone as much as I can and be present with my young children. I want them to experience the world around them and not just a virtual world. I’ve noticed that many family members do not share this philosophy. While I just ignore it for the most part, what can I do to encourage them to put down their phones and enjoy real life for a while? This is happening with teens and adults. I don’t want to offend them, but I do wish they would put the phones away for a little while. — Discouraged by Phones

Dear Discouraged: You have brought up an issue that seems to be epidemic — social isolation due to virtual connection.

While you only have the ability to control your behavior, you can make clear the expectations you have when interacting with others.

Confrontation on this issue seldom has a positive effect. However, you are the best model for the behavior you desire in others.

When friends, family, children, etc. are visiting your home or attending an event you are hosting, ask them ahead of time to be prepared to engage in activities without electronics. This means you must plan for activities that require interaction.

You will have to be creative. Watching a movie or TV show does not require anything from the observer. But if, for instance, you are planning a game night or a time of preparing gifts for others, or practicing for a competitive event, all participants must be active.

If you see someone on their phones during the event (hosted by you), politely give them a duty or a part to play in the activity that would require their focus.

I appreciate your concern for this issue. We must be intentional in our interactions within our families and within our communities.

Healthy families and societies don’t happen by chance.

Nora Swango Stanger is a Lawrence County native and Appalachian outreach coordinator for Sinclair Community College. Send letters and questions to her at norastanger@gmail.com or Notes to Nora, PO Box 647, Ironton, OH 45638.