Archived Story

Farmers’ Market has pig problem

Published 1:14am Thursday, October 3, 2013

I’ve been makin’ my way down to the Farmers’ Market in Ironton the past four Saturdays to git some good bargains and to keep tabs on my own personal soap opera.

That’s right.

See, there are these two farms who keep goin’ back and forth about a problems they is having with their pigs. Here’s how it went.

The two farmers each bought a pig, but the first farmer asked the other farmer, “We share the same farm. How are we going to tell our pigs apart?

The second farmer said, “Well, how bout I cut the ear off my pig and then we can tell them apart?”

“Hey, that is a very good idea. Go ahead and do it,” said the second farmer.

It seemed like the situation was good until the next week. The second farmer was all upset and said to the first farmer, “You’re crazy pig chewed the ear off my pig. How are we going to tell them apart now?”

“Well,” thought the first farmer, “how about I cut the other ear off my pig and then we can tell them apart?”

“That makes sense. Good idea. I’m all for it,” said the second farmer.

Welp, sure enough, they came back the next week and the second farmer was upset once again.

“You’re crazy pig chewed the other ear off my pig. Now neither pig has any ears and we can’t tell them apart,” said the second farmer.

“Hmmm,” thought the first farmer again. “I know. I’ll cut the tail off my pig and then we can tell them apart.”

“Hey, that’s a real good idea. I’m all for it,” said the second farmer.

Well, you guessed it. Last week the second farmer came to the market frantic.

“You’re pig ate the tail off my pig. Now there’s not way to tell them apart,” said the second farmer.

The first farmer shook his head in disgust, then smiled.

“How about this. Why don’t I just take the black pig and you take the white one,” said the first farmer.

Maybe we should just give them both to Bob Evans.

Ennywho, last week I wuz 17-5 to bring the season record to 75-23. On to week six.

Coal Grove at Rock Hill: The best thing ‘bout this night will be the money collected fer the Stefanie Spillman Fund. Coal Grove 32, Rock Hill 14.

Chesapeake at River Valley: With the Raiders headin’ fer the TVC next year, this is the Panthers’ last trip. They makes it one to remember. Chesapeake 33, River Valley 12.

Fairland at South Point: One of these teams is gonna make a statement ‘bout how serious they are in challengin’ fer the OVC title. Fairland 42, South Point 28.

Green at Symmes Valley: There is gonna be a lot of young players on the field when these two teams hook up. Good thing there’s no “You have to be this tall to play the game” sign. Symmes Valley 26, Green 18.

OTHERS: Wheelersburg over Northwest; Ashland over Boyd County; Russell over Fleming County; Amanda Clearcreek over Teays Valley; Portsmouth over Logan; Bishop Watterson over Bishop Hartley; Col. DeSales over St. Charles; Belfry over Gallipolis; Jackson over Vincent Warren; Oak Hill over Sciotoville East; Minford over Portsmouth West; Lucasville Valley over Waverly; Portsmouth Notre Dame over Manchester; Athens over Wellston.


Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.

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