Ozzy should stick with rock music

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, August 19, 2003

On Sunday afternoon, a pretty good baseball game was played at

Chicago's Wrigley Field.

Los Angeles' Hideo Nomo scattered four hits over seven innings and Eric Gagne saved his 41st straight game of the season as the Dodgers beat the Chicago Cubs 3-0.

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In addition, Randall Simon, the fabled sausage swatter, made his Cubs debut with a 1-for-4 performance.

While Nomo and Gagne (or even Simon, for that matter) should have been the talk of the post-game show, it was a 54-year-old British rock star who made most of the highlight reels.

Donning an "03 Osbourne" Cubs uniform top, Ozzy Osbourne, accompanied by his wife, Sharon, sang his rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game,"

a time-honored tradition at Wrigley during the seventh-inning stretch. When Ozzy approached the microphone, the crowd's buzz became a roar. When he was finished with the song, however, the roar was more laughter than anything else.

I've been a fan of Ozzy's music since I was a teen-ager, and it always amazed me how I could understand him when he was singing, but I had no clue what the man was saying when he was talking. Sunday, though, Ozzy's lyrics were not so audible. Several news outlets have tried to transcribe Ozzy's version of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Here is one version:

"All right, Chicago. I want to hear a real crazy crowd start singing. Are you ready? Are you ready? I can't hear you. Are you ready?

"One. Two. Three.

"Let's go out to the ballgame. Let's go out to the bluhhhhhn.

"Take me a ee-yan eeya the field.

"I don't care if I ahh-uhn ack.

"Da da da da duh da da da eam. Duh ee, da da da da dahhh.

"For a fee, two, three strikes you're out at the old ballgame. Yeahhhhhh."

Ozzy should have rehearsed before performing in front of 40,124 fans. Was the teleprompter broken? Could the Cubs not have supplied Ozzy with a copy of the words to the song?

When the late Harry Carray used to sing the song during the seventh-inning stretch, I usually plugged my ears or changed the channel. Well, at least Harry knew the words to the song. He probably rolled over in his grave Sunday.

During the broadcast, WGN showed legendary Los Angeles Dodgers announcer Vin Scully giving the thumbs up after Osbourne's rendition. My guess is he was glad the song was finally over.

While the blubbering of the so-called "Prince of Darkness" may be entertaining on MTV's

hit reality show "The Osbournes," it was not too amusing Sunday. Ozzy should have wowed the crowd with an a-capella version of "Crazy Train" and let somebody else sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

Shawn Doyle is managing editor of The Ironton Tribune.