Goober digs into Bryant case

Published 12:00 am Thursday, October 16, 2003

Boy oh boy. This Kobe Bryant case sure is something.

There's all kinds of facts and lies leakin' out. In fact, I managed to uncover a few things between Kobe and his wife. It seems they were on the verge of divorce before he bought her the giant million dollar ring. Here's some of the court excerpts:

Judge: What was the first thing your husband said to you when you woke up the morning after the alleged rape?

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Kobe's wife: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

Judge: So why were you upset?

Kobe's wife: Because my name is Vanessa.

Judge: Well, Mr. Bryant. Having reviewed the case, I've decided to give your wife $1 million a month.

Kobe: That's fair, your honor. And I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.

One thing about these types of things, those involved will make sure that the facts won't clutter up the case.

Ennywho, last week wuz a 9-3 record fer a 72-17 season mark (.809 percentage). Let's see if we can improve it.

Ironton at Columbus DeSales: If Ironton plans to beat the Stallions strong defense, they'll need to saddle up their offense. Hi ho, touchdowns! Ironton 21, DeSales 17.

Coal Grove at Chesapeake: It's the Battle for the old Oak Bucket. The only thing to make it better would be if the bucket wuz full of KFC chicken. Chesapeake 28, Coal Grove 18.

Rock Hill at Fairland: I guess playing the Dragons every year explains how they got to be the Redmen. Rock Hill 26, Fairland 22.

River Valley at South Point: After startin' 5-0, the Raiders have found the OVC schedule a little tougher. If they ain't careful, it could git even tougher. River Valley 20, South Point 17.

Sciotoville East at Symmes Valley: East would like nothin' better than to spoil the Vikings' season. I don't likes those spoiled kids. Symmes Valley 27, East 8.

Green at Oak Hill: I wonder if the Bobcats will git lost wanderin' around all those Oaks? Oak Hill 22, Green 6.

Ports. West at Wheelersburg: Let's see. West beat Minford, and Minford beat Wheelersburg, so West will beat Wheelersburg, right? Not so fast. Wheelersburg 14, West 13.

Others: Portsmouth over Minford, Lucasville Valley over Ports. Notre Dame, Ashland over Lawrence County, Northwest over Waverly, Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam over Russell.