Goober reflects on pregame speeches as season comes to an end
Published 12:00 am Friday, October 29, 2004
Gosh wiz. It's hard to believe this here is the final week of the season already.
All season I heard all kinds of great pregame speeches. But the one speech that got to me wuz by Michigan coach Lloyd Carr to his team.
Carr walked into the locker room before the game, look over to his star play and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed yer math, but we need you in there. So, what I is gonna do is ask you a math question and, if you git it right, you kin play."
The player agreed and Carr looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now think hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"
The player thought fer a minute, then answered, "Four."
Carr pulled back his head, then said, "Did you say FOUR!"
There wuz a slight pause and then the other Michigan players began to scream out loud at Carr, "C'mon coach, give him another chance."
Weekly quiz:
Q. Why did Michigan change its team colors to bright orange?
A. So fans could wear their colors to the game on Saturday, huntin' on Sunday and then pickin' up trash along the highways the rest o' the week.
Ennywhooo, last week I wuz a near-perfect 11-1 to make the season record 103-19 fer an .844 percentage. Here's hopin' to go out even better.
Ironton at DeSales: Don't expect smooth DeSailing, but ya might expect an upset special. Ironton 14, DeSales 13.
Rock Hill at Coal Grove: Ya gots teams named Rock and Coal. No wonder this is a hard-hittin' game. Coal Grove 26, Rock Hill 22.
River Valley at Chesapeake: Just call 'em Raiders of the Lost Art of football. Chesapeake 36, River Valley 13.
South Point at Fairland: With Smith and Hill at quarterback, this game ought to end 'bout breakfast. Fairland 46, South Point 40.
Guyan Valley at Symmes Valley: No, no,no. Guyan Valley is a school and Guyan Dolls is a school play. Symmes Valley 24, Guyan Valley 14.
Green at Harts:
The only thing flowing through these Harts is the Bobcats runnin' game. Green 32, Harts 6.
Cin Shroder at Wheelersburg: Beatin' Shroder is gonna make Lucy awful mad. Wheelersburg 22, Cin. Shroder 12.
Others: Portsmouth over St. Charles, Cin. Reading over Ports. West, Port. Notre Dame over Northwest, Ports. East over South Gallia, Waverly over Oak Hill, Lucasville Valley over Minford, Gallipolis over Marietta, Ashland over Boyd County, Lawrence County Board of Elections over Russell.