Saving money on gas is easy with some quick thinking

Published 12:00 am Wednesday, September 7, 2005

No one likes fuel-price increases, but there are a few, well, unconventional ways of saving money on gas that you may not have considered.

Switching to diesel - Here's one that surprisingly few people take advantage of. Diesel prices are occasionally cheaper than regular unleaded. You can save a few cents and you'll never have to wait in line.

Hitchhiking - Sure, you'll save money on gas, but think of all the fascinating people you'll meet. Every hitchhiking experience is an adventure, just remember - stay alert.

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Siphoning gas - If you truly love thy neighbor, you worry about their health and those extra pounds they're carrying. So what better way to say you care than by forcing them to walk? As you're pulling the gas out of their tank, remember: you're not stealing … you're caring. Actually, you shouldn't do this one. It is stealing and you'll end up in jail, although that will also save you some gas.

Buy a gas-powered lawnmower - This isn't a way to save gas so much as it gives you an excuse not to mow your lawn. You're welcome.

Utilize your postal service - Stick a stamp on yourself, stand on your porch, then shout at the mailman that you need to get to the grocery store. Trust me, it works.

Invent a water-fueled car - The somewhat depressing side effect of this one is that if you manage to do it, you'll be so rich that gas prices won't matter to you what they charge for gas. They can charge $37 and a Faberge egg per gallon and you still would not be fazed.

Make friends with Superman - This is another one of those tough ones, but if you can convince Superman to fly you everywhere, you'll never face traffic again. Supes will be battling for truth, justice and the right-of-way! Added benefit: Never having to worry about Lex Luthor.

Start working out of your home - Stop going to your office, just insist that everyone come to your house to work. Just remember to put on some pants before 9 a.m., you'll save yourself a lot of embarrassment.

Have a large hole cut in the floor of your car -With just a little foot-padding (highly recommended) you can steal some moves from Fred Flintstone. Good-bye gas prices, hello Bedrock!

Pretend you're broken down - Good Samaritans will always be happy to give you a push, just point the car at your workplace and relax. Either you'll get to work for free or they'll give up and you'll have to repeat the process. No matter what happens, you're saving money!

High prices are the pits, but with a little ingenuity, anyone can turn the lemon of gas-gouging into the sweet lemonade of savings.

Justin McElroy is a staff writer at The Ironton Tribune. To reach him, call (740) 532-1445 ext. 14 or by e-mail at