Welp, I ran into an old friend of mine and I found out he's been workin' in the Caribean Sea as a pirate. I hardly recognized him cause he wuz so beat up.

I said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" said the pirate. "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine, now."

"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.

My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh, one day, we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," I said. "You couldn't lose an eye just from some bird poop."

"It was my first day with the hook."

Ouch!

Ennywhooo, last week I wuz 12-4 and that makes me 22-8 (.733 percentage) on the season. Here goes week number three.

Ironton at Gallipolis:

When it comes to the Ironton defense and the Gallipolis quarterback, silence is "Golden." Ironton 21, Gallipolis 18.

Mount Hope at Coal Grove:

The Mustangs is gonna need more than a mountain of hope. Coal Grove 26, Mount Hope 12.

Chesapeake at Symmes Valley: Desperate times call fer desperate measures as far as the Panthers are concerns. Chesapeake 14, Symmes Valley 13.

Rock Hill at Oak Hill:

The hills are alive with the sound of the Redmen offense. Rock Hill 40, Oak Hill 6.

Wellston at South Point:

NASA has cut back in its program which is bad news fer the Rockets. South Point 20, Wellston 14.

Fairland at Sheldon Clark: Who is this Sheldon Clark guy? Sheldon Clark 22, Fairland 19.

Corning Miller at Green: I remember when Corning used to be Hemlock. I guess that's an improvement. Green 14, Miller 8.

Lucasville Valley at Wheelersburg:

The Pirates 0-3? Uh-uh. Wheelersburg 26, Lucasville Valley 14.

Others: Chillicothe over Portsmouth, Portsmouth West over Ashland, Piketon over Northwest, East over Matewan, Waverly over Logan Elm, Ports. Notre Dame over Buffalo-Putman, Huntington Ross over Minford, Spongebob (Boyd County) over Russell.