Welp,I been talkin' bout my family and I knows everyone has an Uncle Mordecai.

Sees, ol' Mordecai has this here pond and one day some young women decided to go skinny dippin'.

Uncle Mordecai went down toward the pond makin' noise so they'd know he wuz a-comin'. They went to the deep end and one woman yelled, "We ain't comin' out till you leave."

To which Uncle Mordecai said, "I didn't come down here to see you gals swim or run out of the pond naked. I jest come down here to feed my aligator."

Ain't he a stinker?

Ennywho, last week I wuz jest 9-5 to bring the season record to 43-16 (.729 percentage). Believe it or not, we is halfway through the year. Here's week five.

Ironton at Ashland: If the Fightin' Tigers win, don't expect Mike Burcham to tackle Bob Lutz in celebrashun. Ironton 21, Ashland 17.

Vinton County at Coal Grove: Let's make the Vikings honorary members of the OVC, 'specially since the OVC is 2-0 against 'em. Coal Grove 32, Vinton County 20.

Wellston at Rock Hill: If ya thinks the cost of gas is high, imagine what rocket fuel is? Rock Hill 20, Wellston 13.

South Point at Northwest: Mohawks had an extra week to git ready. They might need an extra week to recover. South Point 27, Northwest 6.

Chesapeake at Vincent Warren: One of the good things 'bout this trip is the players git to eat and it won't cost mom and dad. The best thing is gettin' to play Warren. Chesapeake 26, Warren 12.

Meigs at Fairland: Both teams like their offenses. That means this game will be very offensive to the fans. Meigs 29, Fairland 27.

Symmes Valley at Oak Hill: I'm goin' out on a limb here and predict the Vikings will score, hmm, say 50? Symmes Valley 52, Oak Hill 22.

Green at Lucasville Valley: Why didn't they git Valley out of the league a little sooner? Lucasville 36, Green 18.

Wheelersburg at Minford: Reality check. Wheelersburg 34, Minford 14.

Others: Gallipolis over Chillicothe, Portsmouth over Cadiz, Waverly over Ports. West, East over Ports. Notre Dame, Steamboat Willie over Russell.