All reasons point toward OSU victory

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, November 29, 2005

It's that week. You

know, when Ohio

State plays &#8220that team up north.”

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The classic battles between the Buckeyes coach Woody Hayes and the other school's guy, Bo Shimmybelcher, made this rivalry what it is today. Being the favorite doesn't matter. No one knows which team will win, at least now that John Cooper is gone.

Ohio State was the underdog last year and won. The Wolvenmittens are the underdogs this time, so the question is whether they can pull off the upset this time at home against the ninth best team in the country.

Now, I'm not trying to make fun of that other team, but ……. ah, who am I kidding. Of course I'm making fun of them.

Look for the Buckeyes to win and for a number of reasons. Oh sure, Ohio State has game-breaker Ted Ginn and a tenacious defense led by A.J. Hawk, but there are a lot of other reasons. In fact, there are 10 reasons. Here they are:

10. Michigan players get confused because the game clock counts backwards.

9. Unaware of sports abbreviations, players, coaches and fans still think they're playing the Ohio Street Buckeyes.

8. Fans think school color of maize is a tribute to Indian corn.

7. Lacking mechanical skills, Michigan players use velcro instead of chin straps.

6. Without instructions painted on the locker room door, Michigan players are trapped because they keep pushing instead of pulling on handle.

5. Every time players start to sing &#8220Hail to the Victors,” Moms wash mouths out with soap.

4. Players keep wanting to use first down chains instead of yard stick in math class.

3. Think being the &#8220underdog” has something to do with watching cartoons.

2. Still don't understand why conference is the Big Ten and there are 11 teams.

1. Players can't find their map to the end zone.

Let's face it. You can't argue with that kind of reasoning.

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.