Goober gets chance to watch unique football game

Published 12:00 am Friday, November 3, 2006

Y’all knows I luvs football and I’ll watch bout any game I sees. But I saw a game last week while visitin’ the zoo that wuz amazin’.

Seems the big animals at the Columbus Zoo wuz playin’ the small ones.

The big animals wuz just crushin’ the poor little ones in the first half. The little animals wuz scrappy and managed to stay within 17 points.

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But sumpthin happened at the start of the second half

that befounded me, so I gots a little closer to the team bench so I could hear what wuz goin’ on.

The big animals got the ball to start the half and the elephant wuz stopped fer no gain on the first play. On second down, the rhino was hit at the line of scrimmage. And on third down, the hippo wuz tackled fer a loss.

The defense came off the field and huddled round the coach. He asked, “Who stopped the elephant?”

“I did,” said the centipede.

“Well, who stopped the rhino?”

“Uh, that would be me, too,” said the centipede.

“Well then, who brought down the hippo?

“Me again,” said the centipede.

“So where were you in the first half?” asked the coach.

“Well,” explained the centipede, “I wuz gittin’ my ankles taped.”

Might be a good idea to make him the poster child fer Zonas tape.

Ennywho, last week wuz a strange week (12-8, 24-12 fer the season). I is still tryin’ to git a handle on what teams kin do what. Here goes week three.

St. Thomas More at Ironton: The best thing to come out of Canada is Shania Twain. Ironton 24, St. Thomas More 17.

Coal Grove at Lucasville Valley: Whatever ya Hornet fans do, don’t take the prison tour. I heard they is still tryin’ to meet their quota. Valley 28, Coal Grove 27.

Oak Hill at Rock Hill: I’ve seen a giant fallin’ rock snap an oak in half. Wonder if that kin happen in football? Rock Hill 26, Oak Hill 6.

South Point at Waverly: Make sure all the lights work in the scoreboard. I kin see lots of points. Waverly 35, South Point 34.

Symmes Valley at Chesapeake: Playin’ at home beats goin’ on the road any day. Chesapeake 22, Symmes Valley 16.

Green at Corning Miller: Doesn’t Corning Miller sound like some type of kitchen china? Sounds more like a win to the Bobcats. Green 28, Miller 8.

Wheelersburg at Portsmouth: Nothin’ like a tough rivalry game when yer 0-2. Who made out this schedule? Portsmouth 33, Wheelersburg 28.

Others: Meigs over River Valley, Gallipolis over Pt. Pleasant, Big Walnut over Chillicothe, Pickerington North over Logan, Athens over Alexander, Jackson over Vinton County, New Philadelphia over Marietta, Warren over Ft. Frye, Wheeling Park over Zanesville, Ashland, Ky., over Portsmouth West, Minford over Huntington Ross, Piketon over Northwest, Portsmouth Notre Dame over Buffalo, W.Va., Portsmouth East over Unioto.