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Newest Christmas carols have local sports fans singin#8217; holiday tunes

Although we may not think about it, music does have a link with sports.

Obviously, each athletic contest begins with the National Anthem, and there’s music played during any down time such as after touchdowns, at halftime or between innings.

There’s no bigger musical extravaganza than the Super Bowl halftime show.

So things aren’t any different at Christmas time.

When Christmas comes around, pep bands often play Christmas carols at basketball games. I love Christmas carols and I like to take time each year to break out the sports carols and tour the neighborhood singing these new songs.

I don’t know if the words are offensive or if it’s my singing voice because I never seem to find much of an audience. That’s why I’m presenting my newest sports Christmas carols in the sports section once again so that you can at least read them and sign them on your own.

Here’s the newest group of songs. Enjoy.

We Eight Bengals

(Tune: We Three Kings)

We eight Bengals all went to jail.

Called coach Lewis, he posted bail.

Criticized and ostracized.

But we can’t stop raisin’ hell. Ooohh.

(CHORUS)

Stars so tarnished, stars that reek.

Coach said we won’t play this week.

Catch us speeding, or even wife beating.

Goodall called us bad boy freaks.

Deck the Nuggets

(Tune: Deck the Halls)

Deck J.R. Smith while he’s scoring.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

New York games were way too boring.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Isiah said to take him out.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Karl blames him, there’s no doubt.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

See the players trading punches.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Fines bring money by the bunches.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

See Mike Dolen and coach Thomas

Fa la la la la la la la la.

In the pink slip line behind us.

Fa la la la la la la la la.

Basketballs

(Tune: Jingle Bells)

Dashing down the court

With the hopes of a great play

O’er the rim he goes

Jammin’ all the way.

The basketballs are slick

The players all cry ‘foul.’

Shaq says they feel so cheap

Let’s try a diff’rent cow.

(CHORUS)

Oh, basketballs, basketballs

Dribbling all the way.

Microfiber was a bust

So Spalding won’t get paid.

Up in the Bleachers

(Tune: Up on a Housetop)

Up in the bleachers, fans did jeer.

Michael Vick was walking near.

He was the target of cat calls.

For the way he threw the ball.

(CHORUS)

No no no, what a throw!

No no no, to the Saints it goes.

To fans in the bleachers flip flip flip

A middle finger from Michael Vick.

Series Night

(Tune: Silent Night)

Silent night, Series night.

On his palm, dirt so bright.

Kenny Rogers throws the next pitch.

Reaches home with a quick little twitch.

La Russa’s whining will wait

Since Rogers kept pitching so great.

Big Ben the QB

(Tune: Frosty The Snowman)

Big Ben the QB, was the Steelers heart and soul

With a rifle arm and magnetic charm

He helped win the Super Bowl.

Big Ben the QB rode his motor bike this day.

But he hit a car and got thrown real hard.

Now he’s out till Labor Day.

He didn’t wear a helmet. Now he has a broken jaw.

When asked why he would risk his life,

He said, “Hey, it’s not against the law.”

Big Ben the QB, all ready plays throw and catch.

It was quite a blow to be called Winslow

Then replaced by Charlie Batch.

I Saw T.O. Spit on D’Angelo

(Tune: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw T.O. spit on D’Angelo

On the field in Dallas Saturday night.

They both started to jaw

Then they went up for the ball

And Hall needed to use a towel to see Owens score.

Then I heard Deion called the both of them

And try a three-way conference call.

Oh, what a fine he’d have to pay

If Goodall had only seen

T.O. spit on Hall again today.

Merry Christmas!

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.