Fathers#8217; Day brings variety of gifts forsports dads

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Today is Father’s Day, a day all dads should embrace with all their heart.

Fathers across the country - if deserving - will get plenty of traditional gifts like a backyard grill, a wallet, a new shirt, or the traditional favorite, a necktie.

Due to extenuating circumstances, not all dads are looking forward to this day.

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Some fathers and sons will go against the grain and give or receive gifts outside the lines, maybe even gifts that push the envelope.

Most of these gifts will be either well-deserved or of valuable use to dad. And then again, some will be put in the back of the closet to be re-gifted come Christmas.

And so you might ask, “What are these gifts and just who are these fathers and sons?”

Well, using the extensive resource powers of this sports department, I’ve been able to check various department and sporting goods stores and I have uncovered some unusual gifts that will be given to many sports celebrities or their fathers.

Here’s a list of some of those gifts:

Ben Roethlisberger: Gave his dad a motorcycle with permanently attached helmet. Immediately asked his dad if he could to borrow it.

Michael Vick: Gave his dad a pit bull terrier. And a shovel.

Floyd Landis: Stepdaughter gave him Michael Vick’s water bottle to use in the next Tour de France.

Barry Bonds: Son and two daughters: Gave their dad an adjustable baseball cap that goes up to size extra, extra, extra large.

Roger Clemens: Sons gave him a Magic 8-ball toy. Roger thought about returning it because he thought the toy was defective. Each time he asked if he should sign with the Astros, Red Sox, or Yankees, it kept saying, “Ask again later.”

Jerry Narron: Son and daughter gave him a Magic 8-ball addressed to Roger Clemens that had only one answer to every question, “Forget those other teams. Sign with the Reds.”

Kobe Bryant: Two daughters gave him gift certificate for any NBA jersey of his choice.

Nick Saban & Billy Donovan: Children gave them a yearlong supply of Eggo waffles.

Marvin Lewis: Son and daughter gave him a dozen Monopoly “Get out of jail free” cards. Note: cards are transferable.

Jim Walker: Children gave him a framed needlepoint sign that reads, “If you can’t say anything nice about sports figures, then you won’t have any column ideas, you’ll lose your job and be forced to stand on the side of the road with a ‘Will wisecrack for food’ sign.”

Actually, I got a shirt. Happy Fathers’ Day.