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Sports Christmas carols offer fans chance to sing along

Christmas is not only the most wonderful time of the year, as the song says, but it is a chance for us to spend time with our family and friends.

One of the things that’s great about being together at Christmas is singing carols. Each year I write some Christmas carols for family and friends to sing, and each year they aren’t able to sing them for one reason or another.

I’m hoping that by printing these wonderful sports Christmas carols that everyone can enjoy them and maybe I’ll hear groups of carolers singing them in my neighborhood.

(Father Nau turned me down again for use at Midnight Mass).

Anyway, please enjoy these carols and feel free to sing along.

The Big Blue

(Tune: We Three Kings)

The Big Blue lost to Appy State

Their whole team and fans were disgraced.

Dreams of a title now stuck in idle.

Buckeyes won their fourth straight. Ohhhh.

(Chorus)

Carr of blunders, Carr ain’t bright

Unemployed this rivalry night.

Northward speeding to stop the bleeding

Rodriguez got the raise he liked.

Up In The Cheap Seats

(Tune: Up On A Housetop)

Up in the cheap seats the bookie sits

He knows that this game is fixed.

There’s no foul that I can see

Isn’t that ref Tim Donaghy?

Ho, ho, ho. How’d he know?

Ho, ho, ho. How the game would go?

Down in the ref’s room the bookie came

Pay off time for throwing the game.

Settling The Sexual Harassment Suit

(Tune: Walking In A Winter Wonderland)

Telephone rings, she starts listening.

Dirty words get her a-bristling.

Isaiah talks lewd, about getting nude.

Settling the sexual harassment suit.

Marbury claims that she’s lying.

But admits he’s been trying

To do just the same, with younger hot dames.

Settling the sexual harassment suit.

In the courtroom we hear all the stories

Of how Isaiah begged to get a kiss.

She was fired but the jury gave her

Eleven million as a parting gift.

Marbury skips the next practice

Knicks are mad but the fact is

Isaiah’s afraid what Stephon might say.

Settling the sexual harassment suit.

Let Him Go!

(Tune: Let It Snow)

Oh the talk show host looks so frightful.

And his thoughts aren’t too insightful.

Called Rutgers women’s team nappy hoes.

Let him go, let him go, let him go.

He doesn’t show signs of stopping

He reminds me of reindeer droppings.

Pay radio gave him a show.

Let him go, let him go, let him go.

(Chorus)

When Imus fine’ly got the axe,

He still got settlement pay.

And now he just might attack

All the players that he thinks are gay.

(Repeat first verse)

Film The Team

(Tune: Deck The Halls)

Film the team across the field. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the signs Belichick did steal. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Goodall said it’s wrong to cheat. Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

No wonder the Pats can’t be beat. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Belichick paid a huge fine. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Their opponents began to whine. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Were their Super Bowls corrupt? Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Watch as the scores get run up. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

It Came In A Jar Marked “The Clear”

(Tune: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear)

It came in a jar marked “The Clear.”

And Bonds covered his skin.

He claimed not to know what it was.

And that was fine with him.

But then the Feds said it was lies

And Anderson was jailed.

Bonds’ home run mark was oh so sweet

But his taxes sure smelled.

The indictment came as a surprise

When Bonds was hunting deer.

The D.A. said he had a case

Did I hear Selig cheer?

A steroid charge and perjury

Face baseball’s home run king

The next high fence that he will see

Is inside ol’ Sing Sing.

Rudolph The Red-Covered Pit Bull

(Tune: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Rudolph the red-covered pit bull

Started out chasing sticks

He never knew his master

Was a guy named Michael Vick.

All of the other pit bulls

Used to bark that Vick’s insane.

They tried to tell poor Rudolph

These aren’t any playful games.

Then one foggy Super Bowl eve, Mike Vick came to say

“Rudolph with teeth sharp and white, it’s your turn in the ring tonight.”

Then how the boss did love him, as he came in first place.

Rudolph the red-covered pit bull, was saved from a dreadful fate.

Merry Christmas!

— Sinatra —

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.