Crawford#8217;s facts are as wacky as his opinions

Published 12:00 am Thursday, May 29, 2008

I’m sure there are many readers of The Ironton Tribune like myself, who enjoy the highly motivational columns of our local political enthusiast Mr. Jim Crawford.

I thought I would again address his column because his well contrived perception of some distorted factually based information was masterfully delivered by his incredible, fantastic and unusual form of journalism.

It is not hard to understand how anyone might be intimidated, shocked and awed by the kind of imagination displayed in his column.

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Before reading his 05-02-08 column I never realized the scope of his capacity for journalistic political comedy. I thought I was going to split a rib laughing while reading his journalistic and political “pun facts.”

“Pun facts” is a term I’ve coined to reference his collective selective sketchy information. I think his propensity for journalistic political pun borders on comedic genius of a truly biased political pundit.

The way he effortlessly blends his distorted views, skewed perceptions, fictitious facts, sound-bite politics and creative journalism together while utilizing metaphors referencing magic wands and crystal balls dwarfs the powers of Harry Potter more than his favorite nemesis President Bush.

With talent like that he is almost certain to become recognized as the proverbial Carrot Top of political journalism.

The way Mr. Crawford presents his material smacks of incredibly intuitive, bombastic, self serving, borderline legitimate journalism.

Paraphrasing Ronald Reagan, it is not that our beloved liberal friends are ignorant it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

For those who enjoy Mr. Crawford’s columns, comedy and “pun facts,” I facetiously and mischievously offer my own pun facts as follows.

For instance, I don’t believe what they are saying about Hillary Clinton, Rosie O’Donnell and Rosanne Barr, and if it turns out to be true, I hope they will spare me the gruesome details.

How about Bill Clinton’s new book titled “True story?” It is a recently released book about how to profit from telling bold face lies too stuck on stupid rank and file party loyalist. I was also wondering where I might get a copy of Barack Obama’s book titled, “Death to America?” Let me count the ways, a result of his collaborative effort with William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan.

One thing certain of Democrats is, regardless of proposed policy, scientific facts, truth, integrity, character, common logic or gutless patronizing and pandering, Democrats will vote as instructed.

In closing, I was wondering if Mr. Crawford has discovered we are not in a recession as declared by the media and parroted as fact for almost a year by countless pundits including his self?

Propaganda attributed with successfully undermining consumer confidence, slowing the economy and promoting the doom and gloom politics of the media and Democrats.

Regardless of party affiliations, as I am bound by law to accept the Democratically determined decisions of the people who choose to criticize my president, in his absence, I will ask you use the truth.

Garland Monceaux Jr.