Blonde does handyman work to fix Goober’s home

Published 3:24 am Thursday, September 6, 2012

Welp, when it comes to women I has always been a brunette guy myself. Brown hair and brown eyes just do it fer me, but I is fascinated by blondes. In fact, I had a recent experience with a blonde.

The blonde knocked on my door and said she was tryin’ to earn some money and would do handyman-like jobs. I told her she could paint my porch and asked how much she would charge?

“Fifty dollars,” she said.

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I told her that was an agreeable amount and told her the ladders, paint and brushes were in the garage and off she went.

My son was glad he didn’t have to do the work, but he asked, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

I answered, “She should. She was standing on it.”

It wasn’t that much time later that the blonde returned and came knockin’ at the door lookin’ to collect her money.

“Finished already?” I asked.

She smiled and said, “Yes indeed, and I had paint left over so I gave it two coats.”

I reached in my pocket and gave her the money and she said, “Thank you very much. Oh, and by the way, that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Somebody call Roy Tackett down at his body shop. We got some handy work fer him.

Ennywho, last week I wuz 13-3 to bring the season record to 28-6. This week’s games git a little tougher, so here we go with week three.

Gallipolis at Ironton: This here is the last game in the series fer awhile since them Devils don’t want to play no more. Look fer the Tigers to give them a goin’ away present they’ll want to return. Ironton 22, Gallipolis 17.

Coal Grove at Lucasville Valley: They might be the Indians, but the Hornets got their own threat in Chief Runnin’ Bare. Coal Grove 18, Lucasville Valley 16.

Oak Hill at Rock Hill: It only makes sense that they plays this one up on the hill where the Redmen Stadium sits. Oak Hill 28, Rock Hill 14.

Chesapeake at Symmes Valley: In rivalries, ya throw the records out the winder. Just be sure no one is standin’ outside. The lawsuits eat into the gate receipts. Symmes Valley 14, Chesapeake 8.

Wellston at South Point: Look fer the Pointers to git their offense on track. Wellston 24, South Point 18.

Fairland at Tolsia: I don’t know if they is Rebels without a cause, but they are Rebels without a defense. Fairland 40, Tolsia 13.

Green at Sciotoville East: It’s been a long time since them Bobcats started a season 3-0. Green 20, East 18.

Other games: Wheelersburg over Portsmouth; Ashland over Russell; Meigs over River Valley; Portsmouth West over Chillicothe; Minford over Piketon; Northwest over Huntington Ross; Portsmouth Notre Dame over Newcomerstown.

NOTE: Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports. His comments are not meant to be taken seriously.