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Neighbor needs new calendar

Welp, I found out just how important it is to know what’s going on every day.

My neighbor Tom Smith wuz sitting on his front porch with his head in his hands. I asked him what wuz wrong.

“I gots to git a calendar.”

Puzzled, I asked him why.

“Welp, the other day at breakfast my wife, Mary, sits down at the table and ask, “I bet you don’t know what day this is?

My neighbor said he acted indignant, got up and started toward the door. “Of course I do.” So out the door he went and off to his office.

About 10 a.m. the doorbell rang and his wife answered the door. A man from Weber’s Florist handed her a dozen roses.

A few hours later, the doorbell rang again and she answered to find a delivery man who gave her a box of her favorite chocolates.

Two hours later the doorbell rang a third time and the wife answered. The delivery man handed her a wrapped package. She opened the box to find a beautiful designer dress.

“My wife was standing at the door waiting on me when I came home,” said my neighbor.

I told my neighbor that his wife must have been really happy with you and I bet that made you feel good?

“She was happy, but I didn’t feel good. She hugged me, kissed me and said, ‘First flowers, then chocolates and then the dress. This is the best Groundhog Day of my life.”

I told Tom that Halloween was coming in a few weeks and to think candy corn pumpkins.

Ennywho, last week I wuz 12-4 to bring the season record to 103-22. We is just two weeks from the end of the season, so I is hopin’ to finish strong.

Ironton at Oak Hill: Ironton’s schedule is full of team’s with winnin’ records. Well, the Fightin’ Tigers have a winnin’ record themselves. Ironton 28, Oak Hill 14.

Chesapeake at Coal Grove: The underdog keeps winnin’ this game. Except this time. Coal Grove 32, Chesapeake 24.

Fairland at Rock Hill: One runnin’ team is gonna play another runnin’ team. Sounds like a run-on sentance. Fairland 26, Rock Hill 14.

South Point at River Valley: The Raiders have a new stadium and nothin’ to celebrate. South Point 24, River Valley 14.

Symmes Valley at Ports. Notre Dame: Don’t expect the Vikings to take any guns with them. They shot themselves in the foot enough last week. Symmes Valley 27, Notre Dame 18.

Sciotoville East at Green: Fer this one we is gonna use a cheat sheet. East won the non-league meeting back in week three. East 28, Green 20.

Others: Johnson Central over Ashland, Russell over East Carter, Warren over Portsmouth, Gallipolis over Logan, Lucasville Valley over Wheelersburg, Portsmouth West over Northwest, Minford over Waverly, Warren over Portsmouth, Gallipolis over Logan, Jackson over Chillicothe, Bishop Hartley over Coshocton, Bishop Watterson over St. Charles.

NOTE: Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports. His comments are not meant to be taken seriously.