Goober is back for yet another year

Published 1:28 am Thursday, August 28, 2014

Kin you believe it? It is time fer high school football agin and I is back fer another season of pickin’ games, havin’ some fun and makin’ fans upset even though that ain’t my intenshun.

It’s been a year since the last season so a lot has happened over the past few months. Here’s a sample. Of a few news items.

It has been rumored that Cincinnati Reds’ reliever J.J. Hoover doesn’t like firefighters. Every time he enters a game he’s been seen throwing gasoline on the fire.

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Johnny Manziel was not making a double obscene gesture to the Washington Redskins’ team bench. Someone asked him what the combined IQ was of Michigan’s football team.

Have you been to the Shake Shoppe to try the new Ryan Braun milkshake? Not only does it taste good but it is good for you because it uses artificial sweetners.

What do the Chicago Cubs, Chicago Bears and Chicago Bulls have in common? Derrick Rose doesn’t play for any of them.

Part of Jameis Winston’s duties this season include preparing the pre-game meal. Winston said he can get a good deal on seafood at a local supermarket.

Ennywho, week one is always tough ‘cause I just don’t know much ‘bout any of the teams. It wuz worse last year ‘cause I used a two-headed coin. Here’s to using a regular quarter.

Ironton at Wheelersburg: Ya’ll know the Pirates rolled last year and got a bunch of folks back. But, ya see, there’s this runnin’ back Palladino and…Ironton 28, Wheelersburg 24.

Coal Grove at Meigs: This were a wild affair last year and I sees no reason why it won’t be the same thing agin this time. I think I’ll make a video of this and sell it, “Football players gone wild,” except this one is rated G. Coal Grove 41, Meigs 32.

River Valley at Rock Hill: And ya’ll thought you wuz done playin’ the Raiders now that they left the OVC. Well, they is still here and it’ll be just like old times. Rock Hill 26, River Valley 18.

Chesapeake at Oak Hill: How good are the Oaks gonna be this year? I ain’t sure. How good do they think they is gonna be? Welp, the scheduled Wheelersburg fer game two, so what do you think? Oak Hill 27, Chesapeake 20.

South Point at Minford: Before Pointers’ quarterback Gage Townson hurt his knee, I wuz givin’ them a good chance in this one. Now it’s a wait and see situation. Minford can’t wait to see the Pointers without Townson. Minford 32, South Point 13.

Fairland at Johnson Central: This ain’t the kind of game Rashad Jackson really wants fer his coachin’ debut. The Dragons lost some good players and ya never knows what good players will show up fer the Eagles. Johnson Central 42, Fairland 21.

Huntington Ross at Symmes Valley: A couple of young teams will feel each other out fer awhile, but I sees that ground game just chippin’ away fer the Vikings. Symmes Valley 14, Huntington 8.

Manchester at Green: The Greyhounds have been improvin’ as they git their program goin’, but this here option game is gonna help make a successful debut fer coach Ted Newsome. Green 26, Manchester 22.

OTHERS: Portsmouth over Lucasville Valley; Newark Catholic over Portsmouth West; Sciotoville East over South Gallia; Coffman over St. Charles; Jackson over Wellston; Amanda Clearcreek over Lakewood; Athens over Gallipolis; Waverly over Piketon; Southeastern over Northwest; Raceland over Ashland; Russell over Greenup County.


Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.