Browns’ fans guilty of good sins

Published 1:37 am Thursday, October 9, 2014

Welp, sometimes ya just has to go to confession. And sometimes, even priests has to have the sacrament of Reconciliation.

Ron N. Bach is a Cleveland Browns’ fan so naturally he hates the Pittsburgh Steelers. And with the Browns playing the Steelers this Sunday, Ron was really fired up and venting his hatred of the dreaded Steelers.

See, any time Ron would drive down the streets of his hometown and would happen to see a Steelers’ fan he would swerve at them until he heard a thud.

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One day Ron was going to morning Mass and he saw Father Hoyer standing next to his car several blocks from the church.

Father Hoyer explained that his car had stopped on him and he was going to be late to say Mass.

Ron told Father to get in the car since he was heading for Mass himself.

As he was driving along, he saw a Steelers’ fan and swerved to hit him when he suddenly remembered Father Hoyer was in the car and quickly straightened his car.

But Ron still heard a loud thud and looked back and saw the Steelers’ fan lying on the ground.

“Oh Father, I’m so sorry. It was just an instinctive move. I thought I missed him,” said Bob.

“Oh, you missed him,” said Father Hoyer. “But don’t worry. I got him with my door.”

I wonder if they’ll let me hear their confessions? For your penance you must hold a Browns’ game day party.

Ennywho, last week I wuz 12-5 to bring the season mark up to 75-35. I hopes the weather and injuries stay away this time so it don’t mess me up again. Here’s week seven.

St. Charles at Ironton: St. Charles is the Cardinals. Ironton is the Fighting Tigers. Cats love to eat birds. Ironton 28, St. Charles 24.

Coal Grove at Fairland: This is the ground attack vs. the aerial attack, sort of the Army vs. the Air Force. Unlike college football, this time the Army wins. Coal Grove 38, Fairland 28.

Rock Hill at Minford: The Redmen are proving to be a feisty, resilient bunch. Kin they do it again? Minford 20, Rock Hill 19.

Chesapeake at South Point: This isn’t a fair dog and cat fight when you consider the dogs are made for hunting and the cats are panthers. Who hunts panthers? Chesapeake 27, South Point 24.

Symmes Valley at Sciotoville East: Them Tartans seem to be lightin’ up the scoreboard with their offense. The Vikings’ offense ain’t as explosive, but ya has to like their defense. Symmes Valley 21, East 20.

Green at Northwest: Somebody send the Mohawks back to the SOC Division II. Northwest 38, Green 12.

Others: Portsmouth over Gallipolis; Wheelersburg over Waverly; Raceland over Nicholas County; Russell over Mason County; Ashland over Sheldon Clark; Lucasville Valley over Portsmouth West; Athens over Meigs; Jackson over Logan; Amanda Clearcreek over Fairfield Union; Oak Hill over Portsmouth Notre Dame; Alexander over River Valley.


Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.