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Christmas time means more sports carols

Did you ever think about the similarities between Christmas and sports?

Well, people like to put up manger scenes with statue figures of Mary, Joseph, the baby Jesus, the shepherds and three wise men.

When you got to ballparks, often there have been statues of ball players erected as a tribute to their success.

However, there is a distinction between the two. Unlike Jesus and the other saints who gave us examples how to live, Babe Ruth isn’t the guy you hope your daughter brings home.

While other holidays are only a day or two, Christmas has its own season in the year. Granted, it’s not anything as long as baseball, basketball or football, but it’s exciting and everyone is interested.

And speaking of baseball, they like to sing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” in the seventh inning. The Christmas season has lots of songs.

Everyone knows all the Christmas songs, but there should be a crossover between Christmas and sports songs.

Well, that problem is solved. Here are some Christmas carols with sports lyrics. And these songs are so good they may have to include them when caroling next Christmas season.

What Girl Is This

(Tune: What Child Is This)

What girl is this who’s laid to rest

Was in and out of sleeping

She sold them shots and smoked their pot

While Colin’s buddies kept peeping

This, this is one more time

A star QB escaped a crime

Phone, phone! yelled Kaepernick

Get Big Ben’s lawyer real quick.

———

Good King James

(Tune: Good King Wencelas)

Good King James returned to town

Four years after leaving

Told the world he’s going south

And left the fans all seething

 

They burned his shirts and cursed his name

The owner said “You traitor!”

But life was tough, they’d had enough

Now you can’t find the haters.

———

Arrest Ye Jameis Winston

(Tune: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen)

Arrest ye Jameis Winston

For yet another crime

The case of rape you can’t escape

The school said it’s all fine.

Take grocery food

Speak loud and crude

We’ll ignore that all this time

O winning is all that we want

That we want

O winning is all that we want.

———

Hark! The Browns’ Fans

Begin To Sing

(Tune: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

Hark! The Browns’ fans begin to sing

Manziel has been christened king.

Johnny Football is the man

He’ll take us to the promised land.

Joyful was Browns’ nation fans

When Manziel was part of the starting plans

Then they went and played the game

And all that was left was Johnny’s shame

Hark! The Browns’ fans began to sing

Manziel ain’t gonna get us a ring.

 

Hoyer worked and won the job

While Johnny partied with his mob.

Hoyer had them in the race

But that left egg on Haslam’s face.

When the Browns began to slide

Hoyer was quickly pushed aside.

What will we do next year?

It’ll be Manziel and his beer.

Hark! The Browns’ fans began to sing

Manziel ain’t gonna get us a ring.

———

Silent Bats

(Tune: Silent Night)

Silent bats, woeful stats

Votto’s down, Bruce ain’t right

Phillips just hasn’t been the same.

Pitchers get hurt, their arms are lame.

Sliding closer to last place

Sliding closer to last.

 

No one in left, what to do

Sign or trade? What did Jocketty do

Shipped some pitchers to other teams

Dumping salaries is all that it means

Still no big bat in left field

Still no big bat in left.

———

Merry Christmas!

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.