College season should bring fresh commentary

Published 2:04 am Thursday, September 8, 2016

College football begins this week and I kin hear the same ol’ cliches about the teams and players.

Just once it would be nice if the analysts would say what they is really thinkin.

Fer instance….

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• How many Alabama freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb? None. That’s a sophomore course.

• What are the three longest years of a Miami Hurricanes’ player? His freshman year.

• How do you know if a Georgia player has a girfriend? There’s tobacco juice on both doors of his truck.

• And finally, how do you git a Michigan player off yer front porch? Pay for the pizza.


Welp, the first week went better’n I thunk it would. I wuz 13-2 but we all knows the second week teams makes their adjustments and improvements, so it’ll be a lots tuffer. Here goes.

Ironton at Russell: The best thing goin’ on in the Kentucky area right now is they has a chance to elect Dan Bentley as the 98th district state representative. But the best thing goin’ on this Friday will be the game. Ironton 21, Russell 17.

Coal Grove at Lucasville Valley: Instead of callin’ him Rutherford, the Indians will be callin’ him Rougherford when this one is over. Coal Grove 44, Valley 13.

Rock Hill at Northwest: The Redmen rolled last week at Minford. They is gonna steamroll this road trip. Rock Hill 48, Northwest 6.

Chesapeake at Alexander: The Panthers lost some linemen from last year’s team. Alexander lost a whole bunch period. Tough game on the road but…Chesapeake 20, Alexander 13.

South Point at Boyd County: The Lions rolled up 70 points last week but let’s face it. The opponent wuz Lewis County. The Pointers is much better than Lewis and they make this one close. Boyd County 34, South Point 29.

Wheelersburg at Fairland: The Pirates two-deep lineup on offense and defense is hard to withstand, especially if you is the Dragons who have so many two-way players. Wheelersburg 42, Fairland 7.

Symmes Valley at Buffalo: Them Bisons gots lost of players back from a 10-0 playoff team. What’s worse, the Vikings gots to go on the road. They’ll make this closer than folks think and I wouldn’t rule out the upset. Buffalo 36, Symmes Valley 32.

Green at Hannan: The Bobcats hung 50 points on Manchester. Kin they do it again? Green 48, Hannan 8.

Others: George Washington over Ashland; River Valley over Gallipolis; Portsmouth over Portsmouth West; Sciotoville East over Fisher Catholic; Portsmouth Notre Dame over Manchester; Oak Hill over Minford; Waverly over Zane Trace; Beaver Eastern over Miamisburg Christian.

Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.