Welp, we is at the end of the season all ready and just in time fer the presidential election.
But it looks like Donald Trump will win by default. My sources tell me Hillary Clinton died and here is what happened when she arrived at Heaven’s gates to meet St. Peter.
When Hillary arrived St. Peter signed her in and she noticed an enormous collection of clocks in all shapes and sizes off to the side. Some of them were huge.
Hillary asked St. Peter, “Why do you have so many clocks?”
St. Peter explained that they were called “Lie Clocks.” He told her that every person has a Lie Clock and that each lie you tell on earth causes the hands on your clock to move.
St. Peter showed her Mother Teresa’s Lie Clock and told her the hands had never moved once. Therefore, Mother Teresa never lied while on earth.
“That’s fantastic,” said Hillary.
Then St. Peter showed her George Washington’s clock and that the hands had only moved a few times and not very far. “Usually he caught himself before a lie and confessed the truth. He had only a few lies so he was a very good politician.”
Hillary then asked St. Peter, “Well, my Lie Clock must be around here somewhere. Has it ever moved?”
St. Peter winced, then cleared his throat and said, “Well, you’re clock is over in God’s office. It turns out that it works really well as a ceiling fan.”
Guess God read those emails of her berating Catholics and other religions. Tick tock.
Ennywho, last week I just 11-4 — muh second worse week of the year — to bring the season record to 104-22. I is hopin’ to finish strong.
Ironton at Portsmouth: I knows this is a rivalry and Ironton is young and beat up, but there’s too much at stake fer the Fightin’ Tigers. Ironton 35, Portsmouth 32.
Rock Hill at Coal Grove: So the Hornets still has a flicker of life to make the playoffs. But ya knows them Redmen would love to spoil the show. Rock Hill 27, Coal Grove 26.
Fairland at Chesapeake: Now this is what a real rivalry looks like and with the Dragons upset win last week, ya just never knows. Unless Casey McComas plays fer you. Chesapeake 42, Fairland 32.
Northwest at Symmes Valley: Whooo weee. This one here is gonna be a nailbiter. I just hopes the Vikings is the ones with some cuticles left. Symmes Valley 14, Northwest 12.
Oak Hill at Green: There is talk of movin’ the Oaks to the SOC 2. Green would be in favor of that. Oak Hill 38, Green 12.
OTHERS: Portsmouth Notre Dame over Sciotoville East; Minford over Lucasville Valley; Wheelersburg over Portsmouth West; Raceland over Russell; Ashland over Lexington Tates Creek.

Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.