The Boston Red Sox finally broke the Curse of the Bambino. The Chicago Cubs ended more than 100 years without a championship.
Surely the Cleveland Browns can at least win a game.
Can’t they?
I’m not asking for a championship for me, but at least win one before my son dies.
The futility of the Browns is bewildering. How can they be this bad for this long? They last won the NFL championship in 1964. They came close to a couple of Super Bowl berths during the Bernie Kosar era as they lost AFC championship game heartbreakers in 1986 and 1987.
Then Art Modell fed his greed and headed to Baltimore in 1995 where the Ravens won a Super Bowl with what used to be the Cleveland Browns. When the Browns returned in 1999, new hope was everywhere.
What followed were some dismal years and only one playoff appearance. Cleveland Browns’ owner Al Lerner was working to fix the problems but died in 2002, leaving the team to son Randy who knew little about football.
Randy Lerner decided to bring in former Packers and Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren in 2011 as the team president. Holmgren had the team going in the right direction. And then fate raised its ugly head again as Randy Lerner sold the team to Jimmy Haslam.
Holmgren was given his pink slip as Haslam decided to play the owner’s role much like Jerry Jones in Dallas or Modell. All three think they know football. The key word is “think.”
After hiring Rob Chudzinski as coach in 2013, he was released at the end of the season, reportedly because he was against drafting Johnny Manziel while Haslam was dead set on the selection.
Mike Pettine was brought in to babysit Manziel and the project didn’t work. Manziel was released as was Pettine.
Hue Jackson was hired as coach and amassed a 1-15 record. He currently is 0-8 this season.
Haslam is leaving his dubious mark on the franchise. No wonder the Browns’ new stadium has been nicknamed “Factory of Sadness.”
It is also during the Haslam ownership that the Browns unveiled new uniforms. The players claimed if you look good, you play better.
Well, the players look more like clowns than Browns, but then fans watched them play and felt the team was appropriately attired.
Now we find out that the Browns suffered a loss during the bye week. Not on the field, but they had a trade for Cincinnati Bengals’ quarterback A.J. McCarron and Sashi Brown didn’t file the paperwork by the 4 p.m. deadline.
And that botched trade came in the wake of the Browns not even knowing about New England trading backup QB Jimmy Garoppolo to San Francisco. Let’s not even talk about the past two drafts when the Browns passed on Carson Wentz and Deshaun Watson.
As a life-long Browns fan, I still watch them on Sunday. But not for very long. I like to take a nap after going to Mass and eating lunch, so I turn on the Browns’ game which is better than any sleeping pill ever invented.
And it is with this thought that I turn to the Beatles and the song “I’m A Loser” to help express the feeling of despair and hopelessness of Browns’ fans. And a one, and a two, and a three…
I’m A Browns Fan
I’m a Browns fan, I’m a Browns fan, And I’m not what I appear to be.

Of all the games we have won or have lost
There is one team I should never have crossed
The odds we win are a million in one
I should have known that our chances were gone.

I’m a Browns fan, and we’ve lost ev’ry game this year.
I’m a Browns fan, and our team is not what it appears.

Although they work and they act like a pro
Behind their mask they hear Homer say “Doh!”
Our cheers all fade like the sun ev’ry night
The dawg pound’s bark has lost all of its bite.

I’m a Browns fan, and we’ve lost ev’ry game this year.
I’m a Browns fan, and our team is not what it appears.

What have the fans done to deserve such a fate
And yet they think that it’s still not too late.
And so it’s true pride comes before a fall.
Still the rest of our games we’ll lose them all.

I’m a Browns fan, and we’ve lost each game we’ve played this year.
I’m a Browns fan, and I’m tired of saying “wait ‘til next year.”
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Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.