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Goober reflects on uncle’s borrowing habits

Sees, I gots this uncle who lives in New York and he went into a bank one day and asked to borrow $4,000.
The loan officer said, “Before we can lend you the money, we are going to need some kind of security. Collateral, if you please.”
My uncle said, “No problem. Here are the keys to my car. If you look outside in your parkin’ lot you kin see it. That’s it over there, the black Porsche parked in the back of the lot.”
The bank gave my uncle the load and a few weeks later he returned to pay off the loan.
While he was payin’ the loan back along with $11 interest, the manager approached my uncle and said, “Sir, we are very happy to have your business but if you don’t mind me askin’, after you left we looked into your finances and found that you are a millionaire. Why would you need to borrow a mere $4,000?”
My uncle smiled and said, “Well, it’s quite simple. Where else can I park my car for three weeks in New York for only $11?”
I hopes I is in his will.
Ennywhoo, last week I wuz a disappointin’ 9-4 to bring the season record to 87-22. Some big games this week that kin go either way. Here goes nothin’.
Gallipolis at Ironton: Welp, the showdown is at hand. This reminds me of them old SEOAL days. And back then, the winner usually wuz … Ironton 28, Gallipolis 26.
Coal Grove at Fairland: There’s still a lot of sting in the Hornets. And, their runnin’ game is gonna be tough to stop. Coal Grove 27, Fairland 21.
Chesapeake at Rock Hill: This here is the third straight tough one to pick. Fer Rock Hill, it’s all about not fumblin’ the ball. Fer Chesapeake, it’s all about the defense steppin’ up. Chesapeake 24, Rock Hill 21.
Portsmouth at South Point: Win or lose, Talyn Parker has been runnin’ through every OVC team’s defense. I don’t sees him slowin’ down this week. Portsmouth 42, South Point 21.
Symmes Valley at Sciotoville East: The young Vikings is stratin’ to grow up and are lookin’ to finish the season on the upswing. Symmes Valley 22, Sciotoville East 12.
Green at Northwest: The Bobcats must like this winnin’ stuff ‘cause they just keeps doin’ it. Do it some more. Green 34, Northwest 8.
OTHERS: Oak Hill over Beaver Eastern; Portsmouth Notre Dame over Manchester; Wheelersburg over Lucasville Valley; Waverly over Minford; Wheeling Catholic over Portsmouth West; Bath County over Russell; Johnson Central over Ashland.
Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.