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Goober says good-bye to football season

Hard to believe we is at the season.
And we is also near the end of the baseball season with the World Series underway.
Now, I loves football but I loves baseball, too, especially the Cincinnati Reds. As a Reds fan, I don’t like the New York Yankees or their fans. In fact, if I see a Yankees’ fan walkin’ along the street, I swerve my van at them and scare them to death.
One day I was drivin’ down the street and I saw Cleveland Indians’ fan Father Huffman walkin’ and thought I should stop and pick him up as a sign of good will.
“Hi, father. Where are you going?”
“I’m on my way to St. Lawrence to say Mass,” said Fr. Huffman.
“Well, climb on in and I’ll give you a ride.”
While we were drivin’ I saw a Yankees fan — I think it was Dr. Bill Basedow or Randy Lilly — and I instinctively swerved like I was goin’ to hit him. Even though I missed him, I still heard a loud “thud.”
“I’m so sorry, Father. I almost hit that Yankees’ fan.”
Father Huffman just shook his head as if to tell me not to worry about it.
“That’s OK,” said Father Huffman. “I got him with the door.”
I guess vengeance is the Lord’s and a priest whose team lost to the Yankees in last season’s playoffs.
Ennywhoo, last week I wuz 9-4 fer the second straight week to make the season record 96-26. I is hopin’ to go out on a high mark, so here goes.
Ironton at Portsmouth: Ironton may not stop Talyn Parker, but they just need to slow him down. Maybe the Fighting Tigers should play the song “Slow Ride” by Foghat. Ironton 42, Portsmouth 34.
Rock Hill at Coal Grove: This here looks like one of them real backyard brawls. Coal Grove 25, Rock Hill 21.
Fairland at Chesapeake: They say when Purple meets Green all you kin see is Red. I just sees a really good game. Chesapeake 35, Fairland 32.
South Point at Gallipolis: The Blue Devils take the OVC title into the playoffs. Gallipolis 49, South Point 13.
Northwest at Symmes Valley: The Vikings would like to git to .500 headin’ into the offseason. Well, git along, now. Symmes Valley 18, Northwest 14.
Green at Oak Hill: The Bobcats can get a piece of the SOC with a win. The Oaks can win the SOC outright with a win. The outright winner is … Oak Hill 42, Green 12.
OTHERS: Wheelersburg over Portsmouth West; Beaver Eastern over Manchester; Sciotoville East over Portsmouth Notre Dame; Lucasville Valley over Minford; Logan over Waverly; Raceland over Russell.
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Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.