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Goober: Fans wide-awake as new prep season kicks off

Somebody wakes me up and not cuz I was snoring but cuz it’s the start of a new high school football season.
And speakin’ of snoring, Sheriff Jeff Lawless and a couple of deputies including Randy Goodall and Steve Carmell went on a hunting trip last fall. Now, there wuz this one deputy we’ll call Daryl who really snored badly. They wuz gonna sleep two in a room but it wasn’t fair fer just one guy to sleep in the room with Daryl so they took turns.
The next morning Cartmell came to breakfast with his hair a mess and his eyes bloodshot.
“What happened to you?” the others asked.
“Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up all night and watched him.,” said Cartmell.
The next night Lawless slept in the room with Daryl and when he came to breakfast he, too, had messed up hair and bloodshot eyes.
“Man, what happened to you?” Randy and Steve asked.
“Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up all night and watched him,” said Lawless.
The third night it was Goodall’s turn but when he came to breakfast the next morning he was smiling and singing and full of energy.
Lawless and Cartmell couldn’t believe it. They asked, “Man, what the heck happened last night?”
“Well, we got ready for the night and I went to tuck Daryl into bed and kissed him good night on the cheek. He sat up all night and watched me.”
Now that’s some fine police work right there.
Ennywho, let’s git on with week number one.
Wheelersburg at Ironton: The Fighting Tigers say eight is enough. Ironton 28, Wheelersburg 14.
River Valley at Coal Grove: I thinks I’ll go with Austin & Austin. No, they ain’t a law firm. They is the Hornets runnin’ backs but they will lay down the law in this one. Coal Grove 26, River Valley 12.
Rock Hill at Minford: T.J. McGinnis makes his debut in the Redmen backfield and he’ll be easy to spot. He’s the one who looks like a brick building wearin’ cleats. Rock Hill 24, Minford 14.
Oak Hill at Chesapeake: They say that speed kills. If that’s true, the Panthers’ backfield may face felony charges. Chesapeake 20, Oak Hill 16.
Tolsia at Fairland: Dragons sing their own version of the song “Rebel Without A Cause.” Fairland 22, Tolsia 13.
Piketon at South Point: No, no. They are the Red Streaks. Red. South Point 14, Piketon 12.
Symmes Valley at South Gallia: After 4-6 last year, the Vikings decide to turn over a new Leith. Jack Leith, that is. Symmes Valley 18, South Gallia 12.
Cincinnati Dohn at Green: I expect the Bobcats to rise at Dohn. Green 26, Dohn 14.
OTHERS: Gallipolis over Meigs; Portsmouth over Lucasville Valley; Russell over Raceland; Ashland over Boyd County; Southern over Ports. Notre Dame; Wateford of Sciotoville East; Northwest over Southeastern; Paint Valley over Eastern; Portsmouth West over KIPP; Waverly over Athens.