Goober: Tests for college athletes seem to be getting tougher

Published 1:15 am Friday, October 18, 2019

Seems a couple of weeks ago Ohio State beat Michigan State, but fans didn’t know that two of the Spartans top players had spent the week studyin’ fer a big exam that would determine if they remained eligible.
The players were nicknamed sticks and Hip Pads. The test wuz fill-in the blanks and on the first question, Hip Pads read aloud, “Old McDonald had a (blank). Hey Sticks, do you know the answer?”
Sticks laughed and said, “Of course. That’s easy. Old McDonald had a farm. Man, are you stupid.”
Hip Pads checked to make sure the teacher wasn’t lookin’ and said, “Thanks, Sticks. But tell me, how do you spell farm?”
Sticks just shook his head back and forth. “Like I said, you are stupid. It’s so easy. E-I-E-I-O.”
I’m pretty sure they both passed.
Ennywho, last week I wuz shootin’ fer a perfect week and I gots it at 12-0 to make the season record 77-22. I wonders if lightning kin strike twice. It once struck the Sears Tower 17 times during the same rain storm, so who knows.
Ironton at Coal Grove: The Fightin’ Tigers can’t git caught lookin’ ahead to Gallipolis. My guess is they’ll be lookin’ at the end zone several times. Ironton 35, Coal Grove. 14.
Gallipolis at Rock Hill: the same goes here fer the Blue Devils against an outmanned Redmen team. Gallipolis 42, Rock Hill 14.
South Point at Chesapeake: Will Todd run fer 100 yards? Kamren Harless isn’t Kamren Harmless. Donald Richendollar’s stats will git richer. Chesapeake 36, South Point 16.
Portsmouth at Fairland: Gonna be fun watchin’ Talyn Parker and Michael Stitt match yardage and touchdowns. Parker is bigger and faster so this will be…Portsmouth 46, Fairland 38.
Sciotoville East at Symmes Valley: Don’t look now but the Vikings are 6-1 and 2-0 in the SOC. Make that 7-1 and 3-0. Symmes Valley 36, Sciotoville 8.
Northwest at Green: This will be the hardest game to pick. Northwest started strong but the Bobcats has been improvin’ the past few weeks. Green 18, Northwest 17.
OTHERS: Upset alert across the board — Waverly over Wheelersburg; Russell over Ashland; Minford over Oak Hill; Lucasville Valley over Portsmouth West; Ports. Notre Dame over Beaver Eastern.
Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.

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